Can We Be Realistic

Now there has been a lot of talk about how women use the child support they recieve. Some men think they shouldn’t have to pay as much as they are required to pay. Others believe most of the monies are being used to support the mother….more than the child. Are many of these views accurate or is someone being selfish? And if someone is being selfish……who might it be?

Men standpoint:
Many seem to not approve of the amount they are paying because they feel the mother is using it for themselves. Or some may think that why can’t I just buy my child/ren what they need? Other say that maybe their finances are not in a good place and rather not pay because of it. While some of this may hold true others don’t.

When we add research to the picture we see that it cost a lost to raise a child. From childcare to clothing/shoes to extracurricular activities (which many times attire is needed) just naming a few. Not only are those things expensive, but the list is ongoing. Now to go a bit deeper we start to look at schools the our child attends, transportation cost and lost time from work for illnesses or an inability to find a sitter to work.

All must be factored in when we speak of where child support in going. For example, you have a single mother, do her best to raise her child with a job that may not be paying her the best, but still it’s help put food on the table and nice clothes on the child back. Arrangements have been made with the dad for the child/ren to be with him on certain days. It is very understandable that things come up, but who must be the one to adjust their schedule? Should it be the mom always or the dad and a even split down the middle?

It would be great if it was an even split but realistically “we moms knows it is always us”. Now ASM doesn’t bash men or put them down, we encourage the mother community to strive beyond the mishaps of raising child on their own. So with the mom having to readjust her schedule now that the kids were not able to go, how will she make up for the time lost at work? Can she do overtime when it’s offered knowing the sitter is only available to a certain time? Or will she just have to cut her loses?

At this moment and many others like emergency doctor appointments, unscheduled sick days, late night cries that lead to feeling exhausted, is when support matter. Not only financial support, but emotional. Some days can be draining and other not so bad.

ASM encouraged mother to stay uplifted and know within your heart you are doing what’s necessary, with the provided funds, to care for the child God has blessed you with. Keep your head high, don’t give up on your dreams and keep pushing to be the best role model your kids could have or want!

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