Darn Good Mother….And I Say So

Sitting here thinking of my role as a mother and the role of many other single mothers. We do a lot and many times we dont get the appreciation we so desire. Instead we recieve the opposite attention of our efforts. Well today I am doing something different than the usual…..pointing out some of the wonderful aspects and efforts us mothers engage in.

We accepted our responsibility as we endured the labor pains to bring our child/ren here
We put forth effort to care for our children despite other overwhelming pressures
We get up everyday to work to sure our child has their needs
We ensure our child/ren have three course meals
We endure work pressures because we have a human depending on us
We help with homework after a long day of work and/or school
We take off work and stay up late hours when our child is sick
We seek out assistance and resources to help us in trying times when we dont have it.                                                                                                            We attend to our child/ren emotional needs.                                                                                                                                                                                        We ensure food the kids have food even if we have to starve.                                                                                                                                                          We skip the excuses and get it (whatever your it may be) done.

We deserve the credit plus a spa day ;-)…..

I know I didn’t list it all, single mother community help me out. Comment with your experience, it your time to say it loud and proud.

 

Stay in the loop…

Ambitious Single Mothers, Inc
Supporting You Through It All
Web: ambitioussinglemothers.org
Email: ambitioussinglemothers@gmail.com
FB: @AmbitiousSingleMothersInc

 

 

 

Together is Better

20150822_174033Oh how wonderful it is to have a child/ren! It just makes life better in every way. Your life goals become more alive and now you can fulfill those goals with a greater purpose! If that doesn’t lift your spirit and channel your focus…keep reading I am sure we’ll be on similar pages soon.

Children bring you into a whole new perspective of life. For us here at Ambitious Single Mother’s, Inc it has been, metaphorically speaking, our star at the top of our Christmas tree, our gravy to Turkey, our butter to our toast, our cheese to the macaroni…it has been awesome…we have someone who
1. Loves us just as we are
2. We can give all our love to
3. We can give and get all the hugs and kisses
4. We can enjoy lunch with
5. We can take to dinner
6. We can celebrate all year round
7. Celebrates us even when we don’t feel worthy
8. We care for unconditionally
9. We can teach about life
10. We are proud of
11. We put all our efforts into making sure needs are met
12. We nourish from birth into adulthood
13. We can spend the holidays with
14. We can wake up to every morning
15. Looks at us as advisers and problem solvers (the amazing part, about this is…sometimes we don’t have the answers, but then God helps us)
16. We take on vacation
17. Is part of the reason we work hard
18. We showcase to the world through pictures and a variety of social media platforms
19. Lights up our world of
20. Puts bright smiles on our face
Many many more can be listed. Our time with our children is precious, so enjoy every moment you have together.

It’s Achievable

We are all great people with great God given talents and gifts. It is to no wonder that we can achieve what we put our mind to. Have you ever felt compelled to jump and not no where you’ll land? Or better put, have you ever just wanted to “just do it” like Nike suggested? Well that is awesome and it improves you have a gift and/or talents to share with the world.

Why not spread your wings like an eagle and fly?

…I get it, the fear of the unknown is frightening or for a very few, the fear of success is scary.images

Guess what ASM totally understand, BUT….it’s very much achievable.

When counteracting thoughts lead you in the opposite direction of YOUR ordained destination, cancel them out. While canceling them out think about your little ones (or your big ones 🙂 future and how YOUR ARE THEIR ROLE MODEL. This process alone will help you understand your role as well as give you strength to do such a task! Allow your Savior coupled with your child/ren to strengthen you. This literally means allowing time to meditate, think and plan. How can I contribute to making life desirable and fulfilling for myself and my kids? What avenues must I travel to get there? How long (this can be a counterproductive thought…so this don’t matter, just get started!

There is a reason those thoughts of success came to your mind. There’s a reason the talent/gift was given to you. There’s a reason you were chosen to carry out such. God believed in you from the start…now believe in yourself, take the step and know IT IS ACHIEVABLE!

EVEN THE BEST OF US…

We are all inspired to make a difference in the world and that is great. We are all convinced that we have to be the energizing bunny. We are all motivated to see our dreams come true…and they will! I believe that and put a stamp on it 
Let’s take a moment to be honest with ourselves…For those who will admit some days we don’t feel like being so macho, so outgoing, so big…We just want to relax and let life be because we are tired and need a break (like this post if you can use a mini break)…I KNOW I CAN. And guess what you are entitled to that mini break. It will re-energize you, get your mind on track and basically have you feeling and looking great.
I know we have to be strong and an example for our kids and we can do that and more…when we feel better and are taking care of ourselves. Take notice of your body and do the necessary things needed to keep you feeling and looking good. As you get closer to your dreams, allow yourself that time to rejuvenate. I use to think that staying busy, making sure I dot every i and cross every t, that, that was the way to going about it, oh how I was wrong. I have realized that “breaks” are good for you…in more ways than one. Incorporate breaks into your routine and watch how “more effective” you are in your endeavors. Know that God will ensure the plans for your life will still carry out.

More Than Enough

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Hey everyone. I hope all has been well, just complete my first semester of grad school. I think it went pretty well. It was a lot of work for a person with 2 job, a child and an emerging business. But I believe things worked out well. Just a briefly update since my M.I.A.

 

So I am sitting here waiting to pick my daughter up from school and a group of older (than my daughter) walks pass my car. It’s about three of them and they are having a nice conversation. I was listening enough to hear them but not ear hustling at all. Any who, one of the girls said “can you believe it, my parents only gave me 1 gig of data, they are mean”. When I heard this I was more than shocked I was “super shocked”. While shocked, i was looking at the little girl from head to toe, why? Her clothes were clean and decent, her shoes were nice not running over overall she looked well taken care. One of my thoughts were what will it take for children of this generation to be grateful and satisfied with what they DO HAVE? Clearly this child had everything a child living in a shelter could want and dream of: decent clothes and shoes and on top of that a cell phone.

 

I just want to throw something in the air: are we giving our children to much material things? Are we teaching our children how grateful they are to have ALL THEY HAVE? It is very understandable and ok for a child to understand that although they dont have everything a TV star child has they still have more than a lot of children. Our children have to be must understand we parents work hard to give them the things they needs while providing any of the things they want. Our children must learn to appreciate all that is afforded to them and how it is they recieved it.

 

Let’s make it our duties as parents to help our children be grateful for everything they have. It is also important for us to inform our children to be thankful to God the blessings He gives. Some are less fortunate than others and don’t have what we are fortunate to have and it is good for kids to understand that.

 

This season let’s make a commitment to sow into someone life, creating memories of happiness and joy in their heart. Allowing the children to participate will place them in the spirit of giving. Our children will also experience the joy of making someone happy just as they like to be happy.

 

More Than Enough


 

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Hey everyone. I hope all has been well, just complete my first semester of grad school. I think it went pretty well. It was a lot of work for a person with 2 job, a child and an emerging business. But I believe things worked out well. Just a briefly update since my M.I.A.

So I am sitting here waiting to pick my daughter up from school and a group of older (than my daughter) walks pass my car. It’s about three of them and they are having a nice conversation. I was listening enough to hear them but not ear hustling at all. Any who, one of the girls said “can you believe it, my parents only gave me 1 gig of data, they are mean”. When I heard this I was more than shocked I was “super shocked”. While shocked, i was looking at the little girl from head to toe, why? Her clothes were clean and decent, her shoes were nice not running over overall she looked well taken care. One of my thoughts were what will it take for children of this generation to be grateful and satisfied with what they DO HAVE? Clearly this child had everything a child living in a shelter could want and dream of: decent clothes and shoes and on top of that a cell phone.

I just want to throw something in the air: are we giving our children to much material things? Are we teaching our children how grateful they are to have ALL THEY HAVE? It is very understandable and ok for a child to understand that although they dont have everything a TV star child has they still have more than a lot of children. Our children have to be must understand we parents work hard to give them the things they needs while providing any of the things they want. Our children must learn to appreciate all that is afforded to them and how it is they recieved it.

Let’s make it our duties as parents to help our children be grateful for everything they have. It is also important for us to inform our children to be thankful to God the blessings He gives. Some are less fortunate than others and don’t have what we are fortunate to have and it is good for kids to understand that.

This season let’s make a commitment to sow into someone life, creating memories of happiness and joy in their heart. Allowing the children to participate will place them in the spirit of giving. Our children will also experience the joy of making someone happy just as they like to be happy.

Managing Your Emotions

imagesSo I was having a conversation with a client and she mentioned she was angry. Then she goes on to further say…You can’t help me with me with everything. So I explained to her that she can’t tell another what they are not capable of doing or not doing, in reference to helying her. I then suggested that she share her concerns. As she shared, i actively listened to understand the hidden hurt.

Many times we find ourselves dismissing alternative solutions that we never tried and/or don’t now if it can actually work. Which bring me to my first point:
*Try something new- keyword “try” it doesn’t hurt to try…trying helping you learn what you are capable of accomplishing. And another thing to note is just because you tried it once before and it didn’t work doesn’t mean you will get the same result….the knowledge gained between the first time and the second is greater, which puts you at a better chance of accomplishing “it”

My client was saying “oh this would not work” but when I asked her if she tried it the anewer was no.  

*Ask Yourself- ask yourself in what ways will this anger benefit me, or my family or my closest friends. No benefits = no time of my day. Remember as mother we are the ones holding down our fort and we need energy to that.

*Take a Step…Take a Breath- how do they say it….WOO -SAH and realize what is trying to anger you is really trying to rob you of life. Reverse those emotions by understanding 1. Life happen whether it’s on your terms or not, which mean you have to accept the good as well as the bad (not allow the bad to overtake you)  2. Focus on the big picture (i.e. that may be your child, your new job, your peace of mind and body)

*Reach Out- to someone, to your God, to your support group…such avenues have the ability to help you see through a different lens and to uplift you.

In managing our (I’m not exempt) emotions we must incorporate positivity to help bring us through the rough moments. I’ve learned to keep pushing, pass the hurt, because there’s a bigger goal…a bigger goal than the moment I am in. I’ve also learned “what affects me, affects my child”, so straighten up is what I would tell myself (positive self-talk goes a long way).

 

If you ever find yourself needing to be uplifted, ASM is here. Send us a email: ambitioussinglemothers@gmail.com. Visit our Blog: ambitioussinglemothers.wordpress.com or our Vlog: https//m.youtube.com/watch?v=GmuoZzEDBLw.

Grateful…..I Say

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So i have been thinking about single motherhood and everything that comes along with it. From not having the support needed to wishing we didn’t have to leave our little one to work. Yeah, work is needed but if we had it our way, some of us would prefer working from home or even the ability to take our child along to work. When we speak of a lack of support, the range is different for each of us. One may face not being able to earn extra cash because there’s no one to pick up or watch their child for that time. Any who, we all could probably list a million and one “not so right” things in our life but let’s take a time out from that. After all our children are watching how we handle situations and problems…let them view something different.

So although things are not like we desire, we must adjust the lens a bit and actually take notice of things we are over looking that is not so bad:
1. Kid/s are doing exceptionally well in school
2. You are working
3. You are going to school
4. You are looking for better opportunities for you and the family
5. You have chose to accept the job until something better comes along
6. We are making certain our child/ren has a meal to eat every day and throughout the day
7. YOU DID NOT GIVE UP BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE****(ASM give u 5 stars)

Small or big, we have to appreciate our journey and efforts. God puts no more on us than we can bear, so know if you have it on you, God knew you could handle it!

I’m personally grateful I am able to see my child off to school and pick her up from school everyday. I’m grateful she is happy at her new school and making friends. Most of all I’m grateful because EVERYDAY I pick her up she has the biggest smile on her face! That lights up my heart.

Share with us your joys of motherhood single and how you are grateful, we will love to hear from you.

Can We Be Realistic

Now there has been a lot of talk about how women use the child support they recieve. Some men think they shouldn’t have to pay as much as they are required to pay. Others believe most of the monies are being used to support the mother….more than the child. Are many of these views accurate or is someone being selfish? And if someone is being selfish……who might it be?

Men standpoint:
Many seem to not approve of the amount they are paying because they feel the mother is using it for themselves. Or some may think that why can’t I just buy my child/ren what they need? Other say that maybe their finances are not in a good place and rather not pay because of it. While some of this may hold true others don’t.

When we add research to the picture we see that it cost a lost to raise a child. From childcare to clothing/shoes to extracurricular activities (which many times attire is needed) just naming a few. Not only are those things expensive, but the list is ongoing. Now to go a bit deeper we start to look at schools the our child attends, transportation cost and lost time from work for illnesses or an inability to find a sitter to work.

All must be factored in when we speak of where child support in going. For example, you have a single mother, do her best to raise her child with a job that may not be paying her the best, but still it’s help put food on the table and nice clothes on the child back. Arrangements have been made with the dad for the child/ren to be with him on certain days. It is very understandable that things come up, but who must be the one to adjust their schedule? Should it be the mom always or the dad and a even split down the middle?

It would be great if it was an even split but realistically “we moms knows it is always us”. Now ASM doesn’t bash men or put them down, we encourage the mother community to strive beyond the mishaps of raising child on their own. So with the mom having to readjust her schedule now that the kids were not able to go, how will she make up for the time lost at work? Can she do overtime when it’s offered knowing the sitter is only available to a certain time? Or will she just have to cut her loses?

At this moment and many others like emergency doctor appointments, unscheduled sick days, late night cries that lead to feeling exhausted, is when support matter. Not only financial support, but emotional. Some days can be draining and other not so bad.

ASM encouraged mother to stay uplifted and know within your heart you are doing what’s necessary, with the provided funds, to care for the child God has blessed you with. Keep your head high, don’t give up on your dreams and keep pushing to be the best role model your kids could have or want!