Managing Your Emotions

imagesSo I was having a conversation with a client and she mentioned she was angry. Then she goes on to further say…You can’t help me with me with everything. So I explained to her that she can’t tell another what they are not capable of doing or not doing, in reference to helying her. I then suggested that she share her concerns. As she shared, i actively listened to understand the hidden hurt.

Many times we find ourselves dismissing alternative solutions that we never tried and/or don’t now if it can actually work. Which bring me to my first point:
*Try something new- keyword “try” it doesn’t hurt to try…trying helping you learn what you are capable of accomplishing. And another thing to note is just because you tried it once before and it didn’t work doesn’t mean you will get the same result….the knowledge gained between the first time and the second is greater, which puts you at a better chance of accomplishing “it”

My client was saying “oh this would not work” but when I asked her if she tried it the anewer was no.  

*Ask Yourself- ask yourself in what ways will this anger benefit me, or my family or my closest friends. No benefits = no time of my day. Remember as mother we are the ones holding down our fort and we need energy to that.

*Take a Step…Take a Breath- how do they say it….WOO -SAH and realize what is trying to anger you is really trying to rob you of life. Reverse those emotions by understanding 1. Life happen whether it’s on your terms or not, which mean you have to accept the good as well as the bad (not allow the bad to overtake you)  2. Focus on the big picture (i.e. that may be your child, your new job, your peace of mind and body)

*Reach Out- to someone, to your God, to your support group…such avenues have the ability to help you see through a different lens and to uplift you.

In managing our (I’m not exempt) emotions we must incorporate positivity to help bring us through the rough moments. I’ve learned to keep pushing, pass the hurt, because there’s a bigger goal…a bigger goal than the moment I am in. I’ve also learned “what affects me, affects my child”, so straighten up is what I would tell myself (positive self-talk goes a long way).

 

If you ever find yourself needing to be uplifted, ASM is here. Send us a email: ambitioussinglemothers@gmail.com. Visit our Blog: ambitioussinglemothers.wordpress.com or our Vlog: https//m.youtube.com/watch?v=GmuoZzEDBLw.

Grateful…..I Say

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So i have been thinking about single motherhood and everything that comes along with it. From not having the support needed to wishing we didn’t have to leave our little one to work. Yeah, work is needed but if we had it our way, some of us would prefer working from home or even the ability to take our child along to work. When we speak of a lack of support, the range is different for each of us. One may face not being able to earn extra cash because there’s no one to pick up or watch their child for that time. Any who, we all could probably list a million and one “not so right” things in our life but let’s take a time out from that. After all our children are watching how we handle situations and problems…let them view something different.

So although things are not like we desire, we must adjust the lens a bit and actually take notice of things we are over looking that is not so bad:
1. Kid/s are doing exceptionally well in school
2. You are working
3. You are going to school
4. You are looking for better opportunities for you and the family
5. You have chose to accept the job until something better comes along
6. We are making certain our child/ren has a meal to eat every day and throughout the day
7. YOU DID NOT GIVE UP BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE****(ASM give u 5 stars)

Small or big, we have to appreciate our journey and efforts. God puts no more on us than we can bear, so know if you have it on you, God knew you could handle it!

I’m personally grateful I am able to see my child off to school and pick her up from school everyday. I’m grateful she is happy at her new school and making friends. Most of all I’m grateful because EVERYDAY I pick her up she has the biggest smile on her face! That lights up my heart.

Share with us your joys of motherhood single and how you are grateful, we will love to hear from you.

Striking that Balance…

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So I’m sitting here, browsing the net when my daughter tell me about school and her friends. And I listen, then she becomes emotional about the recent change of school. As she explains, my heart began to ache. Ache because I’m wondering am i missing something. When she comes out of school she smiling from ear to ear, but right now her heart is speaking….

As single mothers, we have to create that balance between work, life, the kids and ourself. We must also make sure the choice we make is one of the best for our situation. Never is this choice easy, but when you invite God into your areanas of life, He will fix it the way you need it to be.

1. Prayer
Start by taking time out to pray to God, making it known your need of Him. Our Lord love to hear from us and is waiting to lift our heavy burdens. He will help us prioritize all that we juggle with. This step is important because “seeking His kingdom first”, He then adds all other things.

2. Faith
The bible tells us to have faith the size of a mustard seed. It also tells us that it is impossible to move God without faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. God wil transform your life, just believe!

Let’s all commit to taking time out to strike the balance we and our kids need. Lets take time to listen and recognize the signs they are sending out. Our children grow rapidly so we need to cherish the precious moment while we have the chance.

ASM understands and want to reach out to all single mothers young and older to support them in their motherhood. If you know a single mother, be a blessing and share our blog info. We are here to uplift and strength because we know how it can be.

ASM Info:
-ambitioussinglemothers.wordpress.com
-Find us and become a fan on FB: Jennifer Jones (Ambitious Single Mothers )
-Email: ambitioussinglemothers@gmail.com

When we pull together and work together we can make things happen! Until next time stay inspired.

Can We Be Realistic

Now there has been a lot of talk about how women use the child support they recieve. Some men think they shouldn’t have to pay as much as they are required to pay. Others believe most of the monies are being used to support the mother….more than the child. Are many of these views accurate or is someone being selfish? And if someone is being selfish……who might it be?

Men standpoint:
Many seem to not approve of the amount they are paying because they feel the mother is using it for themselves. Or some may think that why can’t I just buy my child/ren what they need? Other say that maybe their finances are not in a good place and rather not pay because of it. While some of this may hold true others don’t.

When we add research to the picture we see that it cost a lost to raise a child. From childcare to clothing/shoes to extracurricular activities (which many times attire is needed) just naming a few. Not only are those things expensive, but the list is ongoing. Now to go a bit deeper we start to look at schools the our child attends, transportation cost and lost time from work for illnesses or an inability to find a sitter to work.

All must be factored in when we speak of where child support in going. For example, you have a single mother, do her best to raise her child with a job that may not be paying her the best, but still it’s help put food on the table and nice clothes on the child back. Arrangements have been made with the dad for the child/ren to be with him on certain days. It is very understandable that things come up, but who must be the one to adjust their schedule? Should it be the mom always or the dad and a even split down the middle?

It would be great if it was an even split but realistically “we moms knows it is always us”. Now ASM doesn’t bash men or put them down, we encourage the mother community to strive beyond the mishaps of raising child on their own. So with the mom having to readjust her schedule now that the kids were not able to go, how will she make up for the time lost at work? Can she do overtime when it’s offered knowing the sitter is only available to a certain time? Or will she just have to cut her loses?

At this moment and many others like emergency doctor appointments, unscheduled sick days, late night cries that lead to feeling exhausted, is when support matter. Not only financial support, but emotional. Some days can be draining and other not so bad.

ASM encouraged mother to stay uplifted and know within your heart you are doing what’s necessary, with the provided funds, to care for the child God has blessed you with. Keep your head high, don’t give up on your dreams and keep pushing to be the best role model your kids could have or want!